Moving on after a divorce

The end of a marriage can be extremely painful, but it is also possible to heal and move on. Taking time to grieve and take care of yourself are important.

A large amount of people in Massachusetts and elsewhere in the country go through a divorce at least once in their lives. This does not mean the experience is easy - on the other hand, a divorce can be one of the most stressful and challenging times of a person's life. The myriad of issues common to a divorce that may cause long-term pain and conflict include child support, property division and agreeing on parenting arrangements in joint custody. These factors, when added to the emotional upheaval that is often the result of the end of a marriage, can cause discouragement and depression.

How can a newly divorced person put this pain in the past and move on? The following points discuss ways to recover after a divorce.

The challenges that can hold a person back

It may come as no surprise that many people go through a mourning period after the end of a marriage, which may last a long time. This is especially true in cases where one spouse discovered infidelity or did not want the divorce. It is also not uncommon to experience financial difficulties after a divorce. One spouse may have to re-enter the workforce after having stayed at home during the marriage, for example. Being required to pay child or spousal support may also cause a financial strain. Those who are newly single may worry about being alone and finding another partner. It can also create significant emotional pain for those who are unable to move past the anger and hurt regarding their former spouse.

Recovery and healing

According to WebMD, it takes time to emotionally recover from a divorce, but there are numerous things a person can do to begin the process of moving on. These can include the following:

• Allowing time to mourn the end of the relationship - The grief process does not immediately end, and it can be healing to accept these feelings of pain and take the time to work through them, rather than deny the pain exists.

• Accepting a period of "alone time" - many newly divorced people try to jump straight into a new relationship. This can be harmful if feelings of grief and betrayal have not yet been dealt with. It can be calming and healing to learn to be alone for a while, and pave the path for a healthy relationship in the future.

• Re-discovering one's self - People often lose their identities during an unhappy marriage. The period after a divorce can be a wonderful time to revisit old passions and hobbies and discover new ones.

• Self-care - When new post-divorce responsibilities arise, such as becoming a single parent and having to work longer hours, it can be easy to neglect taking care of one's self. It may help to go to a spa, talk to a counselor, go out with friends or set aside time each day for meditation or relaxation.

The end of a marriage may be painful, but it can also signal the beginning of a new life. If you are considering a divorce, you may wish to speak with an experienced Boston family law attorney to begin the process.