Richard C. Bardi & Associates LLC

Children shouldn't be messengers or reporters for parents

Your children are stuck in the middle of your divorce, but there are ways that you can help them to adjust to the situation. The goal of the child custody arrangement is to provide them with a stable home life even if it is between two homes.

One of the most important things that you can do as a parent is to ensure that they aren't using the children as messengers. Using them in this manner can entail a few different actions, so be sure that you are aware of all of them.

Some parents want to know what's going on in the other parent's life. Don't use the children to try to find out information about the other home. It is understandable that you'd want to know about how your child's time at that home is going. Listen to what they have to say, but don't push for more information than what they provide.

You also don't need to relay information to the other parent through the child. When you have them pass messages along, they might feel stress from trying to make sure they get everything right. They might make mistakes as they are telling the other parent the message.

Another consideration is that you don't need to voice your feelings about your ex when your children are around. They shouldn't ever know about the negative emotions you have toward your ex.

Many parents opt to put points in the parenting plan that outline what's acceptable and not acceptable when it comes to communication. This ensures everyone is on the same page about these matters.

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