Going through a divorce is a big change for any adult, but the impacts are felt even more by parents who are trying to keep their children protected from the negative aspects of the situation. It is imperative that you think carefully about your expectations so that you aren’t facing added stress by expecting certain things to happen.
One thing that you should never think is that you are going to be able to stop communicating with your ex. If you have children together, you will have to remain in regular contact as long as the children are minors. Instead of wishing this wasn’t the case, you need to put your best foot forward and start the parenting relationship off with respect and understanding.
Another thing that you shouldn’t automatically assume is that your ex will be a bad parent. There are times, such as when child abuse is present, that you will need to try to stop your ex from being around the kids. Unless that is the case, you should encourage your kids to build a relationship with your ex. Remember that your ex’s skills as a spouse don’t impact their parenting skills.
You should also remember that the divorce and the reasons for it likely shouldn’t have a part in the parenting relationship. Your ex’s infidelity doesn’t mean that they aren’t going to care for the kids when they are at that home. Holding on to these negative points can make it almost impossible to have a positive parenting relationship.
No matter what your current parenting relationship is with your ex, you need to ensure that you have a parenting plan in place. This gives both parents and the children a plan for the future.